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How many inner critics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They're too busy criticizing each other. 
 

Anywhoooo, what I'm dying to talk to you about is this experiment I just did. 

I quickly looked at how long it takes people who believe their inner critic to do things.

What's the time frame? 

  

I then compared this to the length of time it takes people who follow their inner wisdom to do the same thing.

 

Have a look: 

Getting a new haircut.

People who listen to their inner critic:

Anywhere between three months and never. Do we need a new haircut? What’s wrong with the one I have? What if the hairdresser messes up? It will probably cost an arm and a leg. Plus, there are so many hairdressers to choose from. This is impossible.

 

People who no longer listen to their inner critic:

Anywhere between five minutes and two hours. If they don’t like the new cut, no biggie. One of the many benefits of hair is that it never stops growing. Plus, change is fun!

 

Writing a book:

People who listen to their inner critic:

Four lifetimes.

People who no longer listen to their inner critic:

Realistically, between one and five years. Even if they want to write, there is not always time to write, but that’s ok. They keep writing away in stolen moments here and there. 

 

Turning the guest room into a home office:

People who listen to their inner critic:

Maybe next year, and even then they must never be allowed to enjoy the renovation. You know, just to make sure they don’t take on such a selfish and vain project ever again.

People who no longer listen to their inner critic:

Initially, a weekend, and don’t be surprised when they spend the rest of the year bringing home things like plants, posters, and cushions that they believe will make their new office even more inviting and beautiful.

 

Bouncing back from setbacks and failures:

People who listen to their inner critic:

A dark night of the soul plus forty-seven minutes. The shame spiral and the horror will only come to an end once they vow to never attempt anything new ever again.  

People who no longer listen to their inner critic:

It could be several weeks, even several months. Not because these people can’t get over their mistakes. They simply want to learn from them, feel all the feelings, reflect on what not to repeat in the future, and start again from a foundation of clarity and confidence.

Last one. . . 

Raising their prices: 

People who listen to their inner critic:

Three expensive courses, five books, seven workbooks, and endless hours of lamenting and self-coaching. What if people resent me? What if I can't deliver? What if my new clients can't pay that price? What if no one will hire me ever again, and I have to go back to having a regular job? Or worse, move back in with my ex!

People who no longer listen to their inner critic:

Ten to fifteen minutes. They know in their bones it's time to get paid more so they open up their sales pages, change the price, close the laptop, and make a latte. 

As you can see, it’s not doing the thing that takes such a long time. The real time-thief is not knowing how to deal with our thoughts, our nervous system, or our feelings.

If you want to conduct your own experiment, try buying a piece of fruit you never buy. Notice all the crazy thoughts bubbling up in your head. 'Are you out of your mind! We're not a grape family! We're a banana family!' Notice how it slows down your progress. And this is just about buying fruit!

 

The objections of the inner critic happen super quickly and without warning. 

But the speed of the objections is not the problem. 

Believing all our thoughts equally, that’s the problem.

Which thoughts do you want to believe? 

Which ones feel safe to believe? 

 

A simple rule of thumb is: go with the thoughts that feel expansive. Question the thoughts that make you feel small and constricted.

 

For those of you who want to become more aware of what's going on in your mind (so you can start making informed decisions about which thoughts to believe and which ones to ignore), check out the Meditation Resort. 

Meditation is not about blissing out or achieving some blanc, void state. 

Meditation is about coming home to and befriending your mind. 

You in? 

You can learn more here. 

Good luck with your fruit experiment and have a great day! 

Inger, xox 

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